BUT I love my kids so much and as my daughter told someone recently “My mom’s a fighter and she always fights for me” and that melted my heart a little more.

My blog isn’t about complaining about my problems but sometimes maybe it’s better to share about what I’m going through so that others may be able to relate or not feel so alone because at times I know I sure do.

I have two kids going through very different life events.

I have a son who has Apraxia and Mild Hypotonia.  I’m not looking for sympathy and when you look at him you wouldn’t know he has anything wrong with him and for the twenty percent of the time when you talk to him you can’t tell a thing but there’s the other 80% of the time that just breaks my heart.

Liam has gone through a lot for a two year old.  Not a lot by some peoples standards but to me…He had his tongue snipped at a week old, was a month early, couldn’t feed right and got down to four pounds in a week, had his adenoids removed at 2 because he couldn’t breathe AT ALL through his nose, and couldn’t hear for a year.  I know BE GRATEFUL that is all but it’s hard when you’re not prepared.

Fast Forward.  He bites.  When he can’t express himself and it’s taking a toll at Day Care and I LOVE his day care but if parents are complaining then it may end up being time for him to move to a different day care.  Maybe one for kids with Special Needs?

I’m proactive though.  Don’t get me wrong.  He goes to speech once a week but we are upping it to two days a week.  We work with him at home and really he’s a awesome little boy.  Imagine if you can’t express what you want and then imagine you are two.  It must be hard.  It’s not OK to bite though and we are working with him on it.  Maybe some sign language to help until he’s talking better.  We are always trying ways to help him.

So that’s my little love. Onto my big Love….

I’ve posted about our daughter being bullied by over 20o students because of a (Fill in the blank) Teacher who hit her, admitted it, and told students she “told” on him.  He’s a gem of a man.

Fast Forward….She has PTSD.  I guess having death threats, being called fat, etc. can take a toll on a eleven year old.  Duh!

She’s not fat, she’s a great student, and she’s a wonderful person.  She’s even gotten a few close friends this year at her new school and that makes me and her father so happy.

Those kids who abandoned her and treated her badly have issues of their own I bet and some probably felt peer pressure, etc. but still all over a man who put on great productions but was verbally abuse with students and who I heard touched other students.  Not right and those parents who didn’t do anything because he brought money into the school, not right either.

Now she’s sad, very sad, doesn’t want to do much, and she’s in therapy twice a week.  40% of the time she seems so happy and that makes it so hard.

Why?  I always ask myself why my kids?  I guess because the powers that be see that I’m a strong mom and willing to fight for my kids.  That I love my kids and will do anything for them.  That I can cry for them both because I don’t have the instant fixes.  That I’m a good mom.

My kids are who they are and I put my mother through so much as a teenager.  My children are good kids going through life and they have a higher power watching over them as well and if I remember that it makes the days  a whole lot easier knowing her father and I aren’t alone!  I try and be the fix all of everything but it’s not my job and I don’t control their final outcome.  I can just be an example and do what’s best for them.