It’s official.  My little Tween Princess is becoming a woman.  Well not really she will be twelve in September but her body is changing and she’s experienced her first “Period”.  She’s been very not her for the past week and moody and when I ask her what is wrong she replies she doesn’t know and in tears sometimes.  Her father and I have thought for the past four days that maybe this is what was going to happen.  Tuesday when I left for work she told me. Yesterday she had a migraine and her tummy didn’t feel good and she asked “Can your head hurt bad and your tummy hurt if you have your period?”. I stayed on the couch bed all day with her and we watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer reruns, ate PF Changs Gluten Free yummy goodness for lunch, and ended the day with dinner at the mall and a Mani/Pedi.  I had just bought her a nice ring, just because so it all worked out.

She’s been much quieter and more reserved since Tuesday afternoon and I feel it’s because she’s really experiencing this life change for her.  I was seventeen when I got my first “Period” so I didn’t need my mother and I knew exactly what I wanted to do.  This brings me to….The traditions of women and their mothers.  The traditions of different societies.

Some time back I wrote my female friends on facebook asking them what traditions their mothers had with them.  This peaked my interest because my friend told me what her mother did for her and I had NEVER heard of anything like it but I thought it was great and something that she’d never forget and it meant so much to her mother as well.  Needless to say I only got a few responses.  I think the talk of this subject does put some people off.  I’m sure from the title of this entry or whatever that it won’t get much viewing.  Anyhow, some did respond and I found it interesting how different it was for each of them……

My friend from Japan wrote me this…..

In Japanese families, we typically eat something called sekihan, which translates to red rice. Sekihan (or o-sekihan, to sound polite) is a traditional celebration food made of glutenous rice (mochi rice) and red beans. The red beans dye the rice pinkish-red, thus the name “red rice”.

There’s a short Wikipedia entry on it too:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sekihan

So of course, my mom made sekihan for dinner on the day I got my first period.

In Japan, they also have specific underwear called “sanitary shorts” (menstruation panties) for girls women. They’re made of easy-to-wash fabric that doesn’t stain as easily as cotton. I think it was a spandex-like material. I remember my friends in college who were surprised I had a different set of underwear for my period.

Parents of girls nearing the age of menstruation buy one pair of these undies so their daughter can use it the day they get their first period, and later the mom and the girl go out to buy some more. Or so they showed in some dramas 20+ years ago. I wonder if they’re still like that these days. I never went shopping for them because my mother had my aunt buy them in Japan & mail them to me.

More of the general responses I got were like this……

When I got mine at age 13 and asked my mom if I could use some of her pads my mom pretty much started squealing and then immediately called her dad, my grandpa, to tell him, as well as about half of my extended family. I was horribly embarrassed and angry at my mom for making this out to be a huge family event. I just wanted a pad! My sister (who is 23 months younger than me) witnessed this and then never told my mom about her first period at age 12, nor subsequent periods until my mom ended up asking my sister when she was nearing 16 years old.

OR….

I can’t recall anything special my Mom did.

Sorry 😦

BUT……

I liked some of these because like me they didn’t have this bonding or no bonding experience with their mother but what they did or will do for their daughters I thought to be so nice…..

When I was a child there was no special event in regards to my first period, however my sister was the one who help me through it all. When (blank) got her period I kind of felt sad because it mark the beginning of her growing up into a women. I didn’t do a celebration of any sort but guided her on hygiene. I also gave her the understanding of what’s happening to her body and how she could get pregnant.

And…..

For (blank) I plan to throw her a little party… Just with a few close girlfriends. I’m also going to give her a pearl necklace welcoming her to “womanhood”. My mother in law told me that this is what one of her employers (she’s a nanny) did for her daughter. I thought it was a great idea. All I got was a box of pads from my mom.

As you can see there are so many different ways girls come into being a woman.  I find it interesting how taboo it is for us to talk about our bodies…even with our own children.  I’m so glad my daughter feels comfortable enough to talk with me about what is going on with her.  I think it’s hard, no I know it’s hard growing up.  She’s a beautiful young lady and I hope that knowing she has my support that she will always feel comfortable talking with me about what is going on with her.