365 of 42…Day 12 & 13

Yesterday was a busy day ending with a movie that started at 9:20 pm so that’s my quick input of the day.

Today I blog early. Today I’ve seen where what I see can mess with my head. Where I feel like it will always just be like this. Where being alone feels so much better. Where I question what I’m doing and wonder is this going to be good enough? Will the past be the past and I’m just good enough?

The beauty in the sadness I feel today is I’ve learned with all I’ve been through that feelings are not facts. That somewhere deep in me I know I’m worth so much good. On so many levels and I know that tomorrow I may have a totally different outlook on this situation. Today though it doesn’t feel good, probably only in my head and I know the only phone going forward I want to look at is mine. This is even when I’m being shown things. It could bring on hurt hunting and I’m tired of hurting and I’m tired of feeling less than.

In closing, I’m allowed to have this moment but I’m going to let it pass. Maybe not in 5 minutes but today. That’s growth.

Until tomorrow…

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