I worked hard to start anew. Sometimes I feel I’m working too hard for the things I worked for before and before it took me to finally having a heart attack.
The good news is I know I’m worthy of good now. I know I deserve good and I’m doing the little things to get me to where I’m independent and feeling strong like before.
I’ve learned I want honesty, no secrets. I won’t accept having things hidden from me. I lived that and can’t again.
I feel free knowing this and knowing my worth though it can bring sadness when I see the good in others. I just can’t repeat losing me again for someone’s acceptance of me. For someone to want me.
That’s not repeating the past. Daily I feel a little stronger. Daily I see that even if I end up alone that I will be okay. That I’m doing the best I can.
I’ve not been good about keeping up with my blog. I felt trauma over my blog. Afraid to write how I felt and I used to have this amazing blog but now I struggle. After feeling forced to delete it I lost so much. Maybe this blog post will show someone it gets better. It may not feel good at times but there’s growth.
That’s the thing about healing. It doesn’t always feel good but each day gets a little better.
Until next time…