Oops the days kinda got away with me BUT the good news is for the past 8 days in a row I’ve committed to working out. I’ve been good to me and taken care of my body. I feel good. Most days I work out in the AM but due to the upcoming holidays I did my workout this evening and still feel great. I started a 100 workout challenge 4 days ago and did the prep workouts prior to starting the real challenge.
So, stay tuned as I might be sharing more on my weight loss journey and as of now I’m down 6.4 lbs and I’m looking forward to continuing this journey.
Once upon a time, I had a blog, I had an awesome blog dedicated to family, living with PCOS, cooking and baking gluten-free and dairy-free, etc. I felt so good about my blog. I was contacted to write for other blogs and I felt good.
Rewind to the end of 2015 and almost half of 2016 when I was being gas-lighted when I was told to not blog about what was happening. I kept my blog anonymous. I never used names but the fighting about my truth caused me to DELETE my blog. I was cyber-stalked for a bit and people were watching my online activity. I lost my safety on social media. Even as I type this I’m afraid that my ex will read this and let me know he doesn’t approve of my blog. The sad thing is he shouldn’t be reading my blog or checking in on my blog.
I’ve recently had some feelings. Don’t we all hate when they come up and I again began to doubt myself? I’m a survivor, I’m doing it all over, I’m struggling and growing along the way and I’m my own person and answer to no one. I’m in a relationship with a man who is kind to me, who wants to communicate, and who won’t let me run BUT he has had to take on my self-doubt, questioning his motives, and uneasiness that comes from healing with what I’ve been through.
I don’t need to get into all of it but the result from the stress was a SCAD heart attack in 2016. Today though almost approaching 2020 I’ve grown so much, I’m in school full time and working two part-time gigs to get by, I’m showing my children that you can start over at any age, I’ve shown them what forgiveness looks like, not just for my ex but for myself, I haven’t always walked with grace, and I’m continuing to heal. Lately, for the past week, I’ve also been blogging again. It feels foreign but good.
I chose to write about this today because of the quote/image below. I know how it feels to have something I love feel stolen from me. I loved my old blog and felt good about it and I let someone tell me to delete it. I will never do that again.
I’m doing this thing, you know a plan to lose weight. I began a Holiday Sleigh Challenge and today was the first day. So, today I ate right, drank 100 oz of water, did some Yoga, and did the first day of this challenge.
I realized I’m not good at groups but the woman I’m working with I’m holding myself accountable with her. I met all my marks for today. I will meet them for tomorrow as well. I won’t win the challenge because I’m not doing as suggested by posting in the group BUT I’m winning within my own little challenge to be good to me.
I have a hard time realizing I’m worthy of good and that includes worthy of goodness for my body.
I’ll follow up on this as the challenge goes on and at the end I’ll post my victory! Now I have to finish so I can say I did it!