Limbo…

It’s been a while since I’ve updated but it’s because I’m in limbo.  I was doing so well, I thought and eating right (still am) but I’m not losing weight.  Could be PCOS, could be I’m over 40, could be that I’m so out of shape.  It could be a lot of things but it makes for me to feel so discouraged.  So, I’m upping my out of shape game and going to focus on adding in exercise more.  Previously, I didn’t need to do this.  I ran, sure but I was able to just eat right and keep the weight off.  I’m 43 now so maybe my bodies changed and possibly the medications I’m on for my artery conditions are playing a part.  My sugars keeping going low as well, even after I eat.

My silver lining is that I’ve seen my doctor, brought him a list of questions and he told me he was sorry I wasn’t losing weight.  I know the logical things that can be happening but having PCOS and two rare artery conditions it’s nice to sometimes hear “I’m sorry”.

He’s running a bunch of tests.  My body dysmorphia is making it really hard for me to feel like I’m never going to get back down to my pre-heart attack weight.  I can’t and won’t be overweight like I was in the early years of PCOS.  Unless you’ve been through what I have you wouldn’t understand.  I’ve learned as well maybe certain people are the only ones to discuss these things with.  Even people, friends and family who care about you may not understand and it makes it hard.

I’ve found too that when I feel this way I want to eat bad.  For me eating bad is eating gluten or dairy.  I don’t overeat and people notice that but I feel eating the way I’ve been told not to is eating bad.

So my update is I’m a mess, I’m in limbo.  I won’t always be.  I will grow and I will update this blog more.  You never know, one of you may be feeling as I do and seeing me not give up could help.

What will become of my blog….

I’m Kat and reality is that I don’t know what to do with my blog.  A blog I pay for.  Did you know once upon a time it served a purpose?  It helped others with PCOS and had a following of Gluten Free and Vegan eaters who enjoyed my recipes.  I was “Once Upon a Time” a great baker.  Okay, I still am to a point.

I’ve tried starting my blog over again many times.  I won’t go into detail about why I stopped blogging, but maybe one day it will serve a purpose to my blog and be seen.  I’m thinking that if I just blog as I see fit, if I let this happen organically then maybe I will find my passion again.

I wonder if anyone else has gotten through a rough patch and found their blogging purpose?  I’m curious a year from now where this blogging journey will take moi.