I’ve missed quite a few blogging days, but life indeed does happen. Since the 1st of July, when I last wrote, the kitten we adopted needed to be put down. It turns out he was born with Parvo, and he was just too sick. He was only 1.8 lbs when I was at the emergency vet with him. It was a hard decision to make.
I’ve also started a side job to help with life within our joint family as my partner has been going through it since he’s in production. Times genuinely are tough for so many right now.
I’ve found that I need to take better care of myself when it comes to perceiving myself. I am too hard on myself and in many ways. I have been struggling, which comes to no surprise with my weight. I fear that if I am overweight, people, strangers will judge that possibly I overeat or I have no discipline, but that is not the case.
I listened to this podcast over the weekend where a woman talked of body positivity. She discussed mourning the clothes we have for when we “lose” the weight we have gained. I’m going to work on mourning that bottom drawer in my dresser.
Some days it does feel like I’m trying to tackle so much to feel good about myself, but I need to remember sometimes slowly and more thoroughly is the best way.
Until tomorrow….you know unless life happens a little too much.
Progress, not perfection, is what I have learned over time, and yes, I did forget to post yesterday, but I am continuing on this 365-day journey even with flaws. I am far from perfect, and over the next year, I hope to accept that and be ok.
I also forgot to wake in the middle of the night and capture a beautiful picture of the moon. I ended my fasting early today because there is this feeling that I am not able to eat like others due to PCOS. It feels like a punishment for something I did not have control over. I digress, but my point is I am far from perfect, and some days are not going to be as well as others.
However, I did my hair, put on make-up, and attended a meeting for a new client. I even put on a dress for the conference/zoom meeting. Getting ready for the day/meeting was a victory. Since I work from home, I do not usually get ready for the day outside, brushing my teeth and applying deodorant not to offend those around me. It felt good to get dolled up for the day.
I have found that I am in a funk. I know that life does ebb and flow, and I can feel whole any time now. When you have many health issues unanswered or feed into other issues, it can be so overwhelming. I don’t need to stay in the funk, however. I’ve decided to write here, to hopefully help others who are in a funk of their own.
So today, I bring you this short little post, and as the days go on, we will be on an adventure together. I will continue to be good to me. I will share with all who join me the honesty that goes into having a chronic illness. While playing mom to two kids, being a full-time college student, employee, partner, and friend. This is my living adventure, and I welcome you to come along. Until tomorrow…