Once upon a time, the cute brunette here received her GED after years as an HR Director to show her kids you can accomplish goals at any age, and well, we had a 1950’s inspired party to celebrate. A few short weeks later, I had my “event,” and believe it or not, the smiles I showed here were false. I was a mess, being gaslit and struggling to feel normal. I am so grateful that early 2016 is many moons ago, and I’m thankful for my life today. I earned my bachelor’s in English Education, found out I’m autistic and suffer from PTSD, and I’m living my best life through it all. So odd that coming across a photo can stir up so many memories, good and bad. So grateful for my life today, even on the rough days!
This photo is also a great reminder of why I began to take care of myself more. If I had known in 2016 I was autistic as well, would it of made a difference? Would I have felt so much sensitivity to what was going on then? I’m so grateful that now and since my “event,” I’ve gained tools to walk through life so much easier.
I took a break today from educating myself on being autistic. However, I did have to venture into a Target and only messed up twice, briefly, by talking to people with my nervous energy, BUT I did notice what I was doing, which was a big victory. I thought about what I was doing. It has been hard keeping quiet and not talking to strangers because of my social anxiety, but I’m glad my eyes are open more to my little quirks.
Today on January 2nd of 2023, I am still coming to terms with being diagnosed autistic at the age of 47.
Yesterday was a rough day for me. Yes, the start of 2023, but I realized how sensitive and rigid I am and had this momentary breakdown over feeling attacked in a situation others would not have taken as I did. That being said, the floodgates opened, and I felt as though I ruined every relationship in my past.
So, as I did many moons ago, I will use this platform to write about my journey. To get back into writing for me and hopefully help others along the way. I’m not broken, and I hope to see that as this journey continues.