Luxury AKA The Extras

As it’s been said in previous posts I’m on a super strict budget. On this budget and being in a whole new financial situation I’ve learned to cut my own hair, color my own hair, get cheap haircuts and pretty much try and save money any way I can but feel like I’m beautiful or at least very pretty.

I was given some money from a bond that matured from when I was married. I was able to buy Christmas gifts and I got my hair done.

Normally it would be a fun experience to get ones hair done BUT for me it was just to make my hair look decent. To have a even cut, straight bangs and hair all one color. To me this was a luxury and something that needed to be done.

These days I need to pick and choose what’s important. I want and possibly need blue ballet flats but those can wait. Really the black ones I have can go with everything. There’s also so much I want to get me but I’m glad I made the decision I did and I will save to get my hair done every couple of months. It’s something I can look forward to and practice a bit of self-care.

My normal color and haircut but I feel more put together. That’s what matters.

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Living within Means…

It’s a yearly tradition to go to this show featuring Danny Elfman.  It’s a tradition with me and two friends.  This year I had to be honest that before this show I couldn’t afford to pay my ticket.  Life’s much different right  now.  I’m worried about how I will get by the next couple of weeks with certain bills due and a boy who needs a haircut (this is happening today, it has to).

Humility is good for us all to experience from time to time.  I think it keeps us grounded.  I was honest with my one friend that I couldn’t pay her until I received my grant around the 1st of November and it was nice to hear she still wanted me to go and I could pay her when I could.

I have to remember to accept kindness when living within my means and being honest where I am financially.  I used to be able to do whatever I pretty much wanted but life happened and for a while life is going to be much different.  I don’t like to ask for help either.  I don’t feel like I can return the help for some time and that makes me worry and feel guilt.  Even though I used to help others, it’s hard for me to accept help.

I can’t live in fear of how I’ll pay my bills or feed my children.  I have clothes that are old, with holes in sweaters, shoes that I need to purchase BUT I do actually have a lot of clothes and at this point I need to make do with what I’ve got or repair said clothes with holes and I have been doing this.

This is continuing to be a great and uncomfortable growth lesson and I hope it doesn’t always feel more bad than good.  I have to remember I’m doing this to better myself and my children and the outcome is what I need to be focused on.  Tomorrow I’m also starting a 40/40 day challenge.  I hope this too will help me declutter and be OK with me.