Sometimes it will take a pandemic to show us what’s really happening in our lives or where we need to be. Coming to this realization though can feel bad but can be filled, with hopefully so much growth. I will be doing a lot of work on me this upcoming week. I’ve found out some things that show me I need to do more work. More will be revealed.
I’m grateful like yesterday and today my kids don’t need to see how I’m feeling. I’m present for them and that’s what matters for the two of them. They go back to their fathers tonight so I can have a night to be sad if I choose to.
I’ve done good though being good to my body with food. Still no gluten. Still eating healthy. Just for today. So today I leave you with a photo of my yummy and healthy egg frittata with avocados from a friends tree that finally ripened. Until tomorrow.
My goodness, yesterday focused around the fact that I ate so poorly. Gluten is NEVER my friend but I couldn’t stop yesterday. I am still trying to figure it out. I really hated how it made me feel but I couldn’t stop. I feel so out of control internally right now. Like I don’t know which way is up. I know it’s day two of my monthly cycle but yesterday I just felt so powerless. Like anything and days before I do have a new day today. It’s the first time in my 44 years around the world that I thought “am I emotionally eating?”. I know I was lazy yesterday too. I made it into the office to switch out work but I fought to get my 5 hours in. Here’s to a new day…
I skipped my workout yesterday which means two today. I’m OK with that. One thing I noticed yesterday is that I’ve been keeping to my 5 days a week (ok really 5 workouts a week). I’ve been doing 5 workouts a week for 4 weeks now. That my friends is progress and even though I sucked on the food front yesterday I can say I am doing something good for me. I think, especially right now when being told to shelter in place that exercise is good for the soul. It’s at least keeping me going.
The boy skipped school yesterday, you know keeping in with my day. Ha! Seriously though, today he has a day of school to complete and tomorrow. Since I’m the teacher right now I gave him the day off. We also found out yesterday that the state of California is closing schools until the end of the school year (maybe this was my trigger for poor eating yesterday?). This overwhelmed this homeschooling mom because I, myself am a full time college student and I’m a employee as well. It’s hard enough trying to get the boy to stay focused but I have to arrange so much into my/our day. Today, not only is it packed with 4th grade fun but I also have school work to complete, a lot of it and 4-6 hours of work too.
Yesterday was hard and I’m not the only one having a hard time. My hope by blogging daily is to show others they are not alone. We are all struggling with this new normal. My silver lining for yesterday was my rent for April was paid. I’m grateful I was able to pay my rent when so many are not. I’m grateful I have my job still when so many are out of work. In this time of Covid-19 we need to remember the little things and even though I didn’t feel good about yesterday I did have some good. I did end the day watching Onward with my two kids. I ended my day surrounded by loved ones and I’m grateful we are all safe and I’m so sorry for all those who’ve lost people.