Sometimes it will take a pandemic to show us what’s really happening in our lives or where we need to be. Coming to this realization though can feel bad but can be filled, with hopefully so much growth. I will be doing a lot of work on me this upcoming week. I’ve found out some things that show me I need to do more work. More will be revealed.
I’m grateful like yesterday and today my kids don’t need to see how I’m feeling. I’m present for them and that’s what matters for the two of them. They go back to their fathers tonight so I can have a night to be sad if I choose to.
I’ve done good though being good to my body with food. Still no gluten. Still eating healthy. Just for today. So today I leave you with a photo of my yummy and healthy egg frittata with avocados from a friends tree that finally ripened. Until tomorrow.
I’ve made it, as a semi type a through the first week of this lockdown imposed on all us Californians. I get it. Covid-19 is dangerous. It however doesn’t think about my obsession to be on the go or my constant worry about money.
So…I have decided to do a daily check in and probably will continue (like this is the motivation to get me to use the blog I pay for) to blog after. Single mom, health issues, starting over, and kinda fabulous can make for a great blog. So get ready because at the end of each day I’ll get real. I’ll show the good, the bad, and the all of living and loving in a time of Coronavirus.
For my 44th year I’m giving to me a ton of inside work. I’m no longer on any heart meds and my heart healed itself. My arteries well, my heart is a start. I’m seeing a doctor today to better me physically. I’m working on my PCOS because I refuse to let it take me over. I’m working on my self worth and will lose my heart attack weight gain. With PCOS this is hard for me.
I realized I’ve worked hard or overdid things in the past because I thought if I did I would be worthy of love or friendship but that’s not true. I’m worthy no matter what and I need to believe that.
The photo below of those amazing women was taken at my 40th birthday party and right before the darkest time of my life. Those women are still in my life and helped me through that dark time and we give to each other when we need someone and I love them and the many other women in my life.
Here is to 44 and the many adventures and growth and love and happiness and sadness and hope that it will bring.