Once upon a time, the cute brunette here received her GED after years as an HR Director to show her kids you can accomplish goals at any age, and well, we had a 1950’s inspired party to celebrate. A few short weeks later, I had my “event,” and believe it or not, the smiles I showed here were false. I was a mess, being gaslit and struggling to feel normal. I am so grateful that early 2016 is many moons ago, and I’m thankful for my life today. I earned my bachelor’s in English Education, found out I’m autistic and suffer from PTSD, and I’m living my best life through it all. So odd that coming across a photo can stir up so many memories, good and bad. So grateful for my life today, even on the rough days!
This photo is also a great reminder of why I began to take care of myself more. If I had known in 2016 I was autistic as well, would it of made a difference? Would I have felt so much sensitivity to what was going on then? I’m so grateful that now and since my “event,” I’ve gained tools to walk through life so much easier.
Sometimes it will take a pandemic to show us what’s really happening in our lives or where we need to be. Coming to this realization though can feel bad but can be filled, with hopefully so much growth. I will be doing a lot of work on me this upcoming week. I’ve found out some things that show me I need to do more work. More will be revealed.
I’m grateful like yesterday and today my kids don’t need to see how I’m feeling. I’m present for them and that’s what matters for the two of them. They go back to their fathers tonight so I can have a night to be sad if I choose to.
I’ve done good though being good to my body with food. Still no gluten. Still eating healthy. Just for today. So today I leave you with a photo of my yummy and healthy egg frittata with avocados from a friends tree that finally ripened. Until tomorrow.
I’ve made it, as a semi type a through the first week of this lockdown imposed on all us Californians. I get it. Covid-19 is dangerous. It however doesn’t think about my obsession to be on the go or my constant worry about money.
So…I have decided to do a daily check in and probably will continue (like this is the motivation to get me to use the blog I pay for) to blog after. Single mom, health issues, starting over, and kinda fabulous can make for a great blog. So get ready because at the end of each day I’ll get real. I’ll show the good, the bad, and the all of living and loving in a time of Coronavirus.