Day 1 ~ It’s been a while….

It’s been some time since I’ve posted. I lost my desire to blog due to the internet not feeling safe for me. However; I miss writing. I miss blogging. I really lost me for years. These days I don’t think I can do much but then I remember all I’ve been through and despite it all I grow more and more. I found out my social media was being viewed again (stalker style) which made me want to hide from social media but why? My blog was great once upon a time and to get me back I need this. So I’m doing a 365 day challenge of finding me, living with heart disease, being a single mom, friendship, PCOS, and enjoying the good. So day 1 is a photo of me and this man who I adore and who makes me laugh and neither of us are perfect but it’s a great adventure. Until tomorrow…..

Six Months

Six months since I was lucky and lived through a heart attack. 

Today I got up early, got some coffee, hit a beach meeting, walked the Venice Boardwalk, got a tattoo, made a ass of myself, ran around crazy to get Sweet 16 gifts, cooked the teens favorite side dish, actually invited the ex to have dinner with us. I’m not ready to at the house but I felt OK in my home and was informed by the kids we are having a sleep over in the living room. 

In all today was filled with lots of good and interesting emotions.  

I’ve found today:

  • If I keep busy my mind quiets
  • If I’m treated with kindness or hell respect I’m logical and if I’m not I’m not logical and that is something to work on. 
  • I’m beautiful and strong and though I may falter at times but I’m a work in progress. 
  • I’m alive and learning more about me each day and how to be gentle with myself because I’m so not perfect. It helps to remember that. 

In all today was perfect. Tonight I give a photo of my tattoo. A moth because not all see the beauty in them but some moth’s are quite beautiful.