I Feel Pretty…Oh So Pretty…

You know the jingle. Today though I felt pretty. This doesn’t happen a lot but I’m working on self acceptance. So, I lived in the moment and felt good about me. It’s a nice feeling. It’s growth.

Limbo…

It’s been a while since I’ve updated but it’s because I’m in limbo.  I was doing so well, I thought and eating right (still am) but I’m not losing weight.  Could be PCOS, could be I’m over 40, could be that I’m so out of shape.  It could be a lot of things but it makes for me to feel so discouraged.  So, I’m upping my out of shape game and going to focus on adding in exercise more.  Previously, I didn’t need to do this.  I ran, sure but I was able to just eat right and keep the weight off.  I’m 43 now so maybe my bodies changed and possibly the medications I’m on for my artery conditions are playing a part.  My sugars keeping going low as well, even after I eat.

My silver lining is that I’ve seen my doctor, brought him a list of questions and he told me he was sorry I wasn’t losing weight.  I know the logical things that can be happening but having PCOS and two rare artery conditions it’s nice to sometimes hear “I’m sorry”.

He’s running a bunch of tests.  My body dysmorphia is making it really hard for me to feel like I’m never going to get back down to my pre-heart attack weight.  I can’t and won’t be overweight like I was in the early years of PCOS.  Unless you’ve been through what I have you wouldn’t understand.  I’ve learned as well maybe certain people are the only ones to discuss these things with.  Even people, friends and family who care about you may not understand and it makes it hard.

I’ve found too that when I feel this way I want to eat bad.  For me eating bad is eating gluten or dairy.  I don’t overeat and people notice that but I feel eating the way I’ve been told not to is eating bad.

So my update is I’m a mess, I’m in limbo.  I won’t always be.  I will grow and I will update this blog more.  You never know, one of you may be feeling as I do and seeing me not give up could help.

Water oh Water oh My…

It hit me today on my quest to a healthy PCOS and rare disease lifestyle that I’m not drinking enough water.  I used to drink a ton of it but now, since my heart attack in 2016 I seem to enjoy Diet Coke and Coffee as drinks of choice for me. Before you worry, my blood pressure from the type of rare heart attack I had and rare diseases I have is very low.  Like super low sometimes so we will just chalk it up to “Kat needs to find better ways to stay awake”.

So…today I began my water quest.  On a future update I’m hoping I will be keeping to this exercise of so much water and I’m so getting steps in when with clients because I’m running to the restroom quite often.

Oh the newness of this weight loss journey and living with PCOS after 40 and two rare artery diseases.  I’m going to make this fun.

img_4737 (water is flavored so I continue to drink said water)