My goodness, yesterday focused around the fact that I ate so poorly. Gluten is NEVER my friend but I couldn’t stop yesterday. I am still trying to figure it out. I really hated how it made me feel but I couldn’t stop. I feel so out of control internally right now. Like I don’t know which way is up. I know it’s day two of my monthly cycle but yesterday I just felt so powerless. Like anything and days before I do have a new day today. It’s the first time in my 44 years around the world that I thought “am I emotionally eating?”. I know I was lazy yesterday too. I made it into the office to switch out work but I fought to get my 5 hours in. Here’s to a new day…
I skipped my workout yesterday which means two today. I’m OK with that. One thing I noticed yesterday is that I’ve been keeping to my 5 days a week (ok really 5 workouts a week). I’ve been doing 5 workouts a week for 4 weeks now. That my friends is progress and even though I sucked on the food front yesterday I can say I am doing something good for me. I think, especially right now when being told to shelter in place that exercise is good for the soul. It’s at least keeping me going.
The boy skipped school yesterday, you know keeping in with my day. Ha! Seriously though, today he has a day of school to complete and tomorrow. Since I’m the teacher right now I gave him the day off. We also found out yesterday that the state of California is closing schools until the end of the school year (maybe this was my trigger for poor eating yesterday?). This overwhelmed this homeschooling mom because I, myself am a full time college student and I’m a employee as well. It’s hard enough trying to get the boy to stay focused but I have to arrange so much into my/our day. Today, not only is it packed with 4th grade fun but I also have school work to complete, a lot of it and 4-6 hours of work too.
Yesterday was hard and I’m not the only one having a hard time. My hope by blogging daily is to show others they are not alone. We are all struggling with this new normal. My silver lining for yesterday was my rent for April was paid. I’m grateful I was able to pay my rent when so many are not. I’m grateful I have my job still when so many are out of work. In this time of Covid-19 we need to remember the little things and even though I didn’t feel good about yesterday I did have some good. I did end the day watching Onward with my two kids. I ended my day surrounded by loved ones and I’m grateful we are all safe and I’m so sorry for all those who’ve lost people.
I took the weekend off. What’s happening all over the world is really starting to get to me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been disturbed but I’m a go go go person and having to stay home is so hard. I don’t think some people will get what I’m feeling and I think others will 100% get what I’m feeling.
I took the weekend off to just be. To try and enjoy being indoors. You know, I did.
My hot neighbor (boyfriend) and I watched: Jojo Rabbit, Case 39, The Big Wedding, 3 Men & a Baby, FoxFire, Big Time Adolescence, and of course the #1 viewed thing on Netflix Tiger King (horribly bad it’s so good). It felt good to just be in the moment and binge watch movies we hadn’t seen or re-watched movies from the 80’s and 90’s.
We took a 1.5 mile walk later in the evening on Saturday night. It was nice to get out, with no one else out and enjoy the fresh air. Things we take for granted usually mean so much when you’re stuck indoors all day long.
We barbecued yesterday. We made chicken and asparagus. It reminded me of our times at the cabin. I miss the cabin. I can’t wait to be back there. What is odd is that when we go to the cabin, outside of going to have breakfast in the Lake Arrowhead village we stay in and do nothing. Actually, we get creative and watch movies on VHS. I can’t wait to be back up there.
I think we can all, those of us who don’t know how to slow down, can use this time to slow down. I’m going to try and take my weekends to do that.
This week I have my kids. This week I made a schedule for my son and I between me working and doing my school work to making sure that he is doing his school work we are going to be busy this week. I will update daily, I won’t promise each day will go smoothly and I may need to pause a lot but this is really helping to get my thoughts out. Until tonight….
Ever have one of those “my couch and me are connected at the waist” kind of days? This is my day and why I’m doing my post earlier because this day is done. Proof some days are just off.
I swapped out items at work, worked a total of 3 hours today. Tomorrow I’ll do 3.5 and I’m ok with that. I was sooo tired today, upset tummy this morning, and around lunch my sugar was low. It was just a day where my body wanted rest. You know I’m not me today because I watched Swamp People and enjoyed it. Reality TV is weird.
Highlights though…being called a dorky mom at times, box of veggies with bonus toilet paper from Tender Greens, made some yummy veggie soup, supported a mom and pop grocery store and rested. Will have to do two more workouts tomorrow but I’ll have the weekend off. Until tomorrow….