Today I helped my brother by chance to pack up a bit more. To help him as he closes a chapter in his life as he leaves a home, he shared with his wife. A wife took too soon. I’m grateful for her to have put him in my life. Due to my relationship with his wife over time, we had to work together, and since her passing, I’ve gone from considering him a friend and to now, a brother. Life is funny that way. I’m just glad my kids and I were able to be there for him today. It’s the little things that matter most.
Progress, not perfection, is what I have learned over time, and yes, I did forget to post yesterday, but I am continuing on this 365-day journey even with flaws. I am far from perfect, and over the next year, I hope to accept that and be ok.
I also forgot to wake in the middle of the night and capture a beautiful picture of the moon. I ended my fasting early today because there is this feeling that I am not able to eat like others due to PCOS. It feels like a punishment for something I did not have control over. I digress, but my point is I am far from perfect, and some days are not going to be as well as others.
However, I did my hair, put on make-up, and attended a meeting for a new client. I even put on a dress for the conference/zoom meeting. Getting ready for the day/meeting was a victory. Since I work from home, I do not usually get ready for the day outside, brushing my teeth and applying deodorant not to offend those around me. It felt good to get dolled up for the day.
Did you know life and life’s ups and downs don’t stop because of a pandemic? True story. Yesterday and today I feel really sad. Letting go of what I thought would happen one day is hard. I cry when I think about it. Between that another situation I’ve said I’d let go I don’t know if my relationship will last for the long run. That’s being honest. Do I want to feel this when that person is someone I’m isolated with? No. The first letting go over time I can do but the second I’m not so sure. Time will tell and this sadness will pass. This is a total growth moment and ya know what? At least I’m forced to feel and work through it because I can’t run from my feelings by over doing it right now.
Yesterday I also took my final walk of the week with the boy. We took a walk each day he was with me. So nice to get out with no one else walking around and spend some time getting a bit of exercise in and the boy being able to scooter. Win/Win for us both. See some good too.
I notice lately I’ve been down more than up with my posts but come on, this isn’t a feel good time in history and this isn’t just hitting the United States. This is a worldwide pandemic and it’s sad. Just so sad. It will get better. That’s the silver lining.
My schedule for the week is ready, I’m focused on bettering me and it’s my alone week. I wonder the good that can happen. Let’s see. Until tomorrow.