365 of 42…Day 9


Let us just start by saying I haven’t felt this good after a class since I took my 2nd ballet lesson years ago.  Tonight I took a 1.5 hour flexibility & stretch class at the Cirque school I went to two weeks ago (took a week off for the holidays) BUT I’m committed to this….

Things I didn’t think I could do and did……

  • Almost complete half split
  • Back bend touching the wall (OK it took three attempts but I didn’t fall like I thought I would)
  • Stretches forward I forgot I could do.

It helped the teacher had a sense of humor.  It helped the people in the class did as well and it helped that I was ready to really give it a go.

After my heart attack being told I couldn’t run a marathon I thought it was over for me exercise wise and I was wrong.  I’m hoping with sticking to this, growing muscle again, and doing for me that I can do ballet again and feel confident and that I can do aerial again.  Not working out for almost two years can make a body weak and I understand my health came first but I’m tired of the extra weight and I do have the body issues WHICH I KNOW a lot of people do so doing for me felt good again.

My teacher even asked if I danced before because the way I raised my arms for the back bends.  It feels good to know that even not really doing ballet for a couple of years that I still have some form.

Today’s post is a good one.  It’s a “I did for me” and it felt good post.  It’s a post where as I sit here in bliss right now I know tomorrow I will be sore BUT it’s so worth it.  This is the best I’ve felt about my body in a long time and I’m hoping this journey continues.  It will.

Here’s my I’m kinda smiling but feel like jello shot.  Enjoy.


Until tomorrow…..


Once Upon A Time….She Was Type A….

Once upon a time there was me and I was a Type A.

It was quite normal for me to work, take care of my ex-husbands practice, volunteer (over volunteer), plan in detail for too many things, make time to see friends, etc. and look like I was doing it all with ease.

Flash forward to today….since my heart attack I feel so disorganized.  Beyond even.  I don’t feel like the Kat I was.  I’m told to learn to accept my new “NORMAL”.  No, honestly I don’t want to accept this new normal.  I’m not thrilled that I have such low beats per minute at times that I am so tired, I hate that I forget to take care of things, I’m over not having patience like I used to, I resent that this happened to me.

However; it’s not always this way and I truly do try and stay in acceptance for my new normal.  I try hard daily to accept that I can’t remember things the way I used to, that one day I will find a new normal and lets be real…..My old normal wasn’t normal.  I over did it.  I took care of everyone BUT me.  My new normal will need to have balance and self care.  I had this A-Ha moment tonight that what I lacked during my old normal was self care.  I saw tonight that what I went through in my marriage and life in general it was a lot to handle without support.  I never asked for help.  I lacked self care.

So the thing that keeps coming up for this post is change.  Change is hard.  Change takes us to the other side.  Changing my beliefs of who I need to be to feel like I matter or that I’m a good person was so skewed that I lost me, snapped and became someone I wasn’t, started to find me and in the end trying to hold onto a relationship that wasn’t meant to be caused me to have a heart attack.  Stress, type a woman and I could have died.  I’ve learned new things about me through this change and I’ve learned and continued to learn that I’m good no matter what job I have, how much I volunteer, or what I do for others.  I’m learning outside of my kids and even before them I need to matter.  I need self care and need to let go of the type a person I used to be.

Until next time…