365 of 42…Day 27

So, have been enjoying life on life’s terms and I work six days a week too but when a friend wants to share exciting news with you on day seven you meet her for coffee at 8am.

I was able today to be present for her. To cry happy tears for her and to let her know my joy for her. To not be in my head and to be fully present for her was a plus.

My head can be a slippery slope to things being bad when they’re not. My life for the past couple of years was a lifetime movie or great material for a stand up act. Today it’s slowly becoming a good place where I don’t need to fear so much about the other shoe dropping and what bad is going to happen.

It was a blessing to be able to hear the news from my friend and be in a good place to be genuinely happy for her. From this moment one on one to other moments I know I have a lot of paying it forward to do with friends. I know I need to catch up with family. Did I mention I’ve now sent out some Happy New Years cards? Oh yeah and still in January and included for family current photos of the kids.

I’m not ready to take on the world but approaching the two year anniversary for my SCAD heart attack and how bad things were I’m seeing how much I’ve grown in almost two years.

Here’s to growth. The good and growing pains of it.

Until next time.

Advertisements

365 of 42…Day 24

Comfort zones. We all have them. They make us feel safe and for me it’s the women at the meetings I attend in the valley because they’re who I know and what I know and for me change is scary and I don’t want to be judged. Like anyone’s judging me because generally alcoholics are pretty self centered. Hence me worried what others will think of me.

Flash forward to this past Tuesday and attempting to sit in traffic for two plus hours to go to a meeting in the valley when of course there’s meetings everywhere. SO…I took my sponsors advice and decided to find a meeting near me and guess what party people I found one. 11 minutes and less than 3 miles I believe away from me and guess what else???? I was welcomed and deep within I knew I would be and even better I met a woman who told me about two other women’s meetings like five minutes away from me. Imagine that.

So tonight, walking through my own self centered fears I found that I can fit in anywhere when it comes to my program and I’m grateful that I walked through the fear because it was nice being in a room of women tonight hearing honesty and hearing things I so needed to hear.

Until next time…

365 of 42…Day 22

Ok so I’m not so good at doing this daily and honestly I’m not too concerned. Since my heart attack I’ve been so much less the old Kat when it comes to trying to squeeze everything into a day when there’s always more time to get things done. So basically this challenge, my blog is important but I don’t want to be up at 11 doing it.

I’m working on balance. I’m working on doing one task at a time and finishing it. I really don’t see how in my previous life I worked, took care of two kids, my ex husbands practice, and volunteered while starting up a meet up and keeping up with my girlfriends. No wonder my body shut down. It’s too much for two people. It’s exhausting.

The good news is I’m embracing my flaws and doing what I can, slowly to change them. I’m keeping in contact with my support group so I have a sounding board when I feel I’m maybe doing too much. I’m walking through this new normal with as much grace as I can.

So a little self care check in:

1. Enjoying baths and not rushing out of them. Trying to unwind in them.

2. Doing a exercise class a week that is fun. No need to run if I can do aerial classes, stretching classes or ballet.

3. Not eating gluten and sticking to it. Since my heart attack also having PCOS I’ve gained 20 lbs and slowly I’ll lose the last 18 by making good food choices like I used to do.

4. Having alone time. I’m allowed to have some me time.

Really, if I look at my small behavioral changes I’m being good to myself. I spent 40 years being everything to everyone that I lost me and I’m so grateful life threw me curve ball and I’m learning to be there for me.

Until next time….