Once upon a time, the cute brunette here received her GED after years as an HR Director to show her kids you can accomplish goals at any age, and well, we had a 1950’s inspired party to celebrate. A few short weeks later, I had my “event,” and believe it or not, the smiles I showed here were false. I was a mess, being gaslit and struggling to feel normal. I am so grateful that early 2016 is many moons ago, and I’m thankful for my life today. I earned my bachelor’s in English Education, found out I’m autistic and suffer from PTSD, and I’m living my best life through it all. So odd that coming across a photo can stir up so many memories, good and bad. So grateful for my life today, even on the rough days!
This photo is also a great reminder of why I began to take care of myself more. If I had known in 2016 I was autistic as well, would it of made a difference? Would I have felt so much sensitivity to what was going on then? I’m so grateful that now and since my “event,” I’ve gained tools to walk through life so much easier.
Today on January 2nd of 2023, I am still coming to terms with being diagnosed autistic at the age of 47.
Yesterday was a rough day for me. Yes, the start of 2023, but I realized how sensitive and rigid I am and had this momentary breakdown over feeling attacked in a situation others would not have taken as I did. That being said, the floodgates opened, and I felt as though I ruined every relationship in my past.
So, as I did many moons ago, I will use this platform to write about my journey. To get back into writing for me and hopefully help others along the way. I’m not broken, and I hope to see that as this journey continues.
On this 42nd day of my journey into blogging, I still need to schedule the daily things I do to make me feel good about myself. I even include my daily medications because taking my daily medications can be missed. I get too sucked in to “what needs to be done right now” and forget about what keeps me sane.
Since I get distracted easily, I’ve made my weekly schedule something I check off to keep myself accountable for taking care of myself. Part of this daily schedule is blogging. It seems to be something I often miss since I have not blogged for the past 12 days. What is that? The amount I’ve blogged over the past 42 days is more than I have in the past couple of years. That’s progress, not perfection, and a great example of growth.
My blog is part of my self-care. It is something that brought joy to me. My previous blog was about helping women living with PCOS to see that they can battle PCOS with grace, just as I do. I hope to get back to that. To get to be a forum where I can post things to help others and still live a fun life and share that part of me too. Finally, to continue to be honest that it’s not always easy. I’m harder on myself than anyone could be, and I hope that I can change my perspective on myself over time, doing these daily things to make me feel good.
Daily To Do Check-Off List:
Daily Alanon Readings & Some Writing
Daily Gratitude Email (7+ years strong with the same 5 women)