I’m trying affirmations to myself all throughout the day. Like when I’m walking from one place to another, when I’m standing in line, on hold equals saying something good about me. I also am trying to visualize what I want weight wise. A friend told me holding onto weight is protection and I know I’m protecting myself from the pain I felt before and so I need to really let myself feel. I need to not hide and I hope these affirmations help me on my journey. I’m such a work in progress. What are little things you do daily for your self care?
So, in my quest to living life I stopped my heart medications. Yes, I sure did. I was only on these certain medications to replace the nitroglycerin I was taking that was giving me migraines. Did I mention that since my heart attack I’m not allowed to take my good ole’ migraine medications so it was migraines or medications. For a bit I did go with the medications until I realized it was both meds that caused my rapid weight gain. You see I had this issue before with Provera for my PCOS. So long story short I’m back on the nitroglycerin and living with the migraines.
Which brings me to I’ve now lost 8 lbs and have kept it off so far. I’m back at the gym and I owe my gym success to Game of Thrones and that I’d have never watched before. You see it helps to pass the time on the treadmill. I kid but it really does help as at time waster while working out.
The real test if I can continue this work out regime is the pass I was gifted for two weeks ends in a couple of days so I will have to do outside workouts and you know, I may enjoy it more. We shall see.
I’m going to the gym today. My head keeps trying to get me to back out but after I’ve gone for the 30-40 minutes I feel good when I leave. I feel like I look super fat when I’m at the gym and that I’m the only one there who looks this way. I want to get to a point where I don’t feel this way. It’s hard work this self care game.
So to end this update and I hope to dig deeper into blogging again is this is where I’m at:
Still in school full time, still working some place that doesn’t make me happy but I know isn’t permanent, eating mini meals and gluten free, not beating me up if I fail on a meal because really, it’s not worth it, trying daily to do at least one thing kind for me including some form of exercise, being a great mother, partner, and friend, AND knowing that my past doesn’t define me. What I do today defines me. Today, I’m working on a better me even on the days it doesn’t feel good.
It hit me today on my quest to a healthy PCOS and rare disease lifestyle that I’m not drinking enough water. I used to drink a ton of it but now, since my heart attack in 2016 I seem to enjoy Diet Coke and Coffee as drinks of choice for me. Before you worry, my blood pressure from the type of rare heart attack I had and rare diseases I have is very low. Like super low sometimes so we will just chalk it up to “Kat needs to find better ways to stay awake”.
So…today I began my water quest. On a future update I’m hoping I will be keeping to this exercise of so much water and I’m so getting steps in when with clients because I’m running to the restroom quite often.
Oh the newness of this weight loss journey and living with PCOS after 40 and two rare artery diseases. I’m going to make this fun.
(water is flavored so I continue to drink said water)