Today was a total self care day. I did a lot of nothing. I did accomplish the following:
1. Went by work at 7 am and picked up work and office items so I could work from home. We’ve gone there.
2. Prepared for my school week. I need to complete my courses. One day I need to be better off financially.
3. I wiped a laptop clean. Skills ha! I’m getting stuff done.
4. Completed Week 3, Day 1 of Phase 2 of my Beach Body Barre Blend workout. I won’t gain weight in this time of Corona.
5. Stayed in gratitude.
In all I won today. People I care about deeply are very worried about this virus going around and I don’t know how to calm their fears. Someone else I know may have the virus and so many I know are now indoors only and without income. Those with money are still not struggling so much but some of us, living paycheck to paycheck this is a hard time. This too shall pass and life will slow down and this showed me at least I really need a prudent reserve.
Now, here’s a couple photos from my day. I was mask wearing to get some groceries we needed, I complete a workout, and I used some seasonings to make some awesome chicken. Winning!! Until tomorrow.
It’s been a while since I’ve updated but it’s because I’m in limbo. I was doing so well, I thought and eating right (still am) but I’m not losing weight. Could be PCOS, could be I’m over 40, could be that I’m so out of shape. It could be a lot of things but it makes for me to feel so discouraged. So, I’m upping my out of shape game and going to focus on adding in exercise more. Previously, I didn’t need to do this. I ran, sure but I was able to just eat right and keep the weight off. I’m 43 now so maybe my bodies changed and possibly the medications I’m on for my artery conditions are playing a part. My sugars keeping going low as well, even after I eat.
My silver lining is that I’ve seen my doctor, brought him a list of questions and he told me he was sorry I wasn’t losing weight. I know the logical things that can be happening but having PCOS and two rare artery conditions it’s nice to sometimes hear “I’m sorry”.
He’s running a bunch of tests. My body dysmorphia is making it really hard for me to feel like I’m never going to get back down to my pre-heart attack weight. I can’t and won’t be overweight like I was in the early years of PCOS. Unless you’ve been through what I have you wouldn’t understand. I’ve learned as well maybe certain people are the only ones to discuss these things with. Even people, friends and family who care about you may not understand and it makes it hard.
I’ve found too that when I feel this way I want to eat bad. For me eating bad is eating gluten or dairy. I don’t overeat and people notice that but I feel eating the way I’ve been told not to is eating bad.
So my update is I’m a mess, I’m in limbo. I won’t always be. I will grow and I will update this blog more. You never know, one of you may be feeling as I do and seeing me not give up could help.