Did you know life and life’s ups and downs don’t stop because of a pandemic? True story. Yesterday and today I feel really sad. Letting go of what I thought would happen one day is hard. I cry when I think about it. Between that another situation I’ve said I’d let go I don’t know if my relationship will last for the long run. That’s being honest. Do I want to feel this when that person is someone I’m isolated with? No. The first letting go over time I can do but the second I’m not so sure. Time will tell and this sadness will pass. This is a total growth moment and ya know what? At least I’m forced to feel and work through it because I can’t run from my feelings by over doing it right now.
Yesterday I also took my final walk of the week with the boy. We took a walk each day he was with me. So nice to get out with no one else walking around and spend some time getting a bit of exercise in and the boy being able to scooter. Win/Win for us both. See some good too.
I notice lately I’ve been down more than up with my posts but come on, this isn’t a feel good time in history and this isn’t just hitting the United States. This is a worldwide pandemic and it’s sad. Just so sad. It will get better. That’s the silver lining.
My schedule for the week is ready, I’m focused on bettering me and it’s my alone week. I wonder the good that can happen. Let’s see. Until tomorrow.
My goodness, yesterday focused around the fact that I ate so poorly. Gluten is NEVER my friend but I couldn’t stop yesterday. I am still trying to figure it out. I really hated how it made me feel but I couldn’t stop. I feel so out of control internally right now. Like I don’t know which way is up. I know it’s day two of my monthly cycle but yesterday I just felt so powerless. Like anything and days before I do have a new day today. It’s the first time in my 44 years around the world that I thought “am I emotionally eating?”. I know I was lazy yesterday too. I made it into the office to switch out work but I fought to get my 5 hours in. Here’s to a new day…
I skipped my workout yesterday which means two today. I’m OK with that. One thing I noticed yesterday is that I’ve been keeping to my 5 days a week (ok really 5 workouts a week). I’ve been doing 5 workouts a week for 4 weeks now. That my friends is progress and even though I sucked on the food front yesterday I can say I am doing something good for me. I think, especially right now when being told to shelter in place that exercise is good for the soul. It’s at least keeping me going.
The boy skipped school yesterday, you know keeping in with my day. Ha! Seriously though, today he has a day of school to complete and tomorrow. Since I’m the teacher right now I gave him the day off. We also found out yesterday that the state of California is closing schools until the end of the school year (maybe this was my trigger for poor eating yesterday?). This overwhelmed this homeschooling mom because I, myself am a full time college student and I’m a employee as well. It’s hard enough trying to get the boy to stay focused but I have to arrange so much into my/our day. Today, not only is it packed with 4th grade fun but I also have school work to complete, a lot of it and 4-6 hours of work too.
Yesterday was hard and I’m not the only one having a hard time. My hope by blogging daily is to show others they are not alone. We are all struggling with this new normal. My silver lining for yesterday was my rent for April was paid. I’m grateful I was able to pay my rent when so many are not. I’m grateful I have my job still when so many are out of work. In this time of Covid-19 we need to remember the little things and even though I didn’t feel good about yesterday I did have some good. I did end the day watching Onward with my two kids. I ended my day surrounded by loved ones and I’m grateful we are all safe and I’m so sorry for all those who’ve lost people.
Ever have one of those “my couch and me are connected at the waist” kind of days? This is my day and why I’m doing my post earlier because this day is done. Proof some days are just off.
I swapped out items at work, worked a total of 3 hours today. Tomorrow I’ll do 3.5 and I’m ok with that. I was sooo tired today, upset tummy this morning, and around lunch my sugar was low. It was just a day where my body wanted rest. You know I’m not me today because I watched Swamp People and enjoyed it. Reality TV is weird.
Highlights though…being called a dorky mom at times, box of veggies with bonus toilet paper from Tender Greens, made some yummy veggie soup, supported a mom and pop grocery store and rested. Will have to do two more workouts tomorrow but I’ll have the weekend off. Until tomorrow….