Day 19/20 – Affirmations

I’m trying affirmations to myself all throughout the day. Like when I’m walking from one place to another, when I’m standing in line, on hold equals saying something good about me. I also am trying to visualize what I want weight wise. A friend told me holding onto weight is protection and I know I’m protecting myself from the pain I felt before and so I need to really let myself feel. I need to not hide and I hope these affirmations help me on my journey. I’m such a work in progress. What are little things you do daily for your self care?

Day 16 – Motivation

This woman motivates me. I have PCOS and I’ve had this heart attack and I’ve gained weight. I want to lose the weight and I get so hard on me like I can’t lose it but I can. It helps when women like her share their journey and you watch them for some time and see they do walk the walk they talk. I want to be able to give back again like I used to and one day I will. Loving this post from yesterday and I want these words to settle in and make me feel good about my journey.

Here’s to this next year ahead. Let’s see what I can get done!

She Completed What?

Year One of college is in the books. Okay, not until Monday when I take my final quiz for the Political Science class I can’t wait to put behind me. Still, I’ve received all A’s and B’s this past year and accomplished more than I thought I could.

I’m so grateful, so grateful that I’m doing this for me. In my past life I did for everyone BUT me. I put my ex through school because if he completed school we’d be okay, I over volunteered because if I wasn’t busy I wasn’t accomplishing anything, and I overworked because I felt if I looked successful I would be accepted more by my father and that I then would have escaped my lower middle class upbringing. So as you can see in my past life I was doing for everyone BUT me and now I’m doing this all for ME.

I’m doing this for myself and for my children. I want my two kids to know that you can start over at any time and that it’s OK to not be OK sometimes. It’s okay to grow gracefully and sometimes not so gracefully but in the end you are bettering yourself.

This past year financially has been very hard, I won’t lie but I know the payoff, when I’m done with school I will be financially secure again. I was at one point financially secure but I was working a job I felt I couldn’t leave and I was not in a happy marriage. Now I’m bettering me and it’s hard sometimes. It’s hard wondering if I’ll have all my bills paid, it’s hard to say no to my son when he wants new toys or wants to see a movie but I’ve also found that my children know I’m working hard for them. I’m a good mother, I really believe this.

So, today, this post isn’t about weight but it’s about the good. The good that comes from taking care of myself and I’m enjoying the process.

Until next time…be good to you.