It is no secret I have fought hard not to let PCOS define me. It is no secret I suffered a SCAD heart attack while thin, causing me to be sent home during a said heart attack because “I didn’t look like someone having a heart attack.”
Fast forward to today. I get the gift of COVID while attending an outdoor music festival. This festival celebrated that I survived 17 units of college while working and being a mom to two kids, well, three by the end of the semester. I attended the festival to start my week off before summer school, and then a facial would end my week. No, instead, I’m writing this post and changing things.
I have done pretty well with my friend COVID. I have not had a fever since Friday am, and other than being tired, I was good. I received the call yesterday that my doctors want me on a prescription called Paxlovid. They said I am considered high risk. I have Fibromuscular Dysplasia and have a dissection in my neck right now. I figure, though, they assume I’m an untreated diabetic because I take metformin and Victoza. So this little visit from COVID now woke my body dysmorphia.
I wish I had the calm in me like those who accept their bodies for how they are. It would be awesome to feel good about my body like Lizzo. I am not anywhere near feeling good about my body. The previous judgment for either being thin or obese has shown me the judgment one can receive based on their body size or physicians not reading an individual’s medical history.
I write this because I don’t want to go to a dark place. I write this because I know I am not the only one who has felt judged by the medical field. I write this because I do not like my body today. I write this because these feelings are not facts. I will keep writing on my journey: the good and the bad. My hope is one day, I can be happy in my skin and not worry about judgment. It looks like it took a COVID medication to get me writing. So be it.
It’s been some time since I’ve visited my blog here. You could say I’ve been in transition. I’ve earned my AA degree in English (Yeah, Moi!) and started my university journey. Throw in a lot of fun with my PCOS issues and playing the medication game (I finally found what works) to battle my PCOS weight issues. You could say I’ve been busy. I need something for myself. I need this blog. Writing makes me feel good, and it’s time to use this blog again. I bring you today my upcoming schedule for the next week. I have so much to conquer, and I can do it, even when I feel overwhelmed. I will be posting the raw and the good of living with PCOS, FMD, and being a SCAD survivor. Don’t forget mom, employee, and full-time student. I’m ready to share my journey again with the hopes it will help someone else along the way. Oh yeah! Some good news too, I’m now a Pyatak! I domestic partnered up! Now this medically challenged lady and her type 1 diabetic guy have rights in California. Until next time…..
Time to hold myself accountable on this quest to lose my heart attack weight while living with my friend who keeps on giving PCOS. I’ve been good since my last post about no gluten. However; that night I epic failed because ordering late caused me to eat gluten so I added no food after 8pm because my good thinking disappears. So since the morning after my last post I’ve been 100% gluten free.
I’ve found that eating no gluten is helping me get back into being good to me food wise. I’ve found snacks I used to enjoy, I’ve saved money having to eat at home more and I’m feeling less bloated. Imagine, just eating the way suggested to me is helping me to physically feel better.
As I continue my quest to lose my heart attack weight while battling PCOS I will start to again post recipes and ways I’m good to me. I’m grateful that I found my purpose with this blog which is what it started as years ago. I miss my old blog but with life events it is gone but I’m so grateful I can start over. We can always start over.