Yesterday I wore a bathing suit. I know not a big deal but it is. It is for me. I gained 100 lbs from PCOS. I tried all ways to lose the weight and was even a test subject at Cedars Sinai. I was so grateful to be a test subject.
I ended up having Gastric Bypass in 2007. Since then I’ve lost the 100 lbs and kept it off.
The downside is I see my body the way it was when I look in the mirror and and I’ve acquired extra skin. I don’t have the money to have it removed and I’ve started trying to accept my body for how it is. I’ve had two kids and Weightloss surgery and I’m not 16 years old.
I’ve seen other women who I think have great bodies with their flaws and it does help me. They find themselves beautiful and really, I am too.
So yesterday I wore this. I actually like how this photo came out as well. It’s about progress and each day I’m loving my body more and more.
I’d like to say that I took a great photo of myself wearing my blue sleeveless dress today but that’s not the case. I can say I wore the dress without a sweater and that’s progress. I can say this photo of me taking a work break pool side of my legs would not have happened in the not so distant past and that would be very true. Again, progress. I can also say I like this photo of my legs.
It’s taken time for me to be comfortable in my own skin and I’m not fully there yet. I have my own story. I have the shame behind gaining 100 lbs. in one year and people can’t believe I was ever that overweight but today I share a image of me from then with two of my friends…
The me of then causes Body Dysmorphia issues for the me of now and I’m glad to say that lately I’ve realized most people will find flaws in their bodies. Yes, PCOS has made my body issues a wild adventure but I know many people have their own issues and demons they battle. I don’t want to let my insecurities keep me bundled up in the summer. I also know that 90% of the time what my arms look like really don’t mean anything to you. I’m my biggest judge. My goal is to continue not to care. My goal is to continue to enjoy girly clothes and enjoy the summer months like I should. It’s progress and I’m a beautiful work in progress.