It’s been some time since I’ve visited my blog here. You could say I’ve been in transition. I’ve earned my AA degree in English (Yeah, Moi!) and started my university journey. Throw in a lot of fun with my PCOS issues and playing the medication game (I finally found what works) to battle my PCOS weight issues. You could say I’ve been busy. I need something for myself. I need this blog. Writing makes me feel good, and it’s time to use this blog again. I bring you today my upcoming schedule for the next week. I have so much to conquer, and I can do it, even when I feel overwhelmed. I will be posting the raw and the good of living with PCOS, FMD, and being a SCAD survivor. Don’t forget mom, employee, and full-time student. I’m ready to share my journey again with the hopes it will help someone else along the way. Oh yeah! Some good news too, I’m now a Pyatak! I domestic partnered up! Now this medically challenged lady and her type 1 diabetic guy have rights in California. Until next time…..
Once upon a time, I had a blog, I had an awesome blog dedicated to family, living with PCOS, cooking and baking gluten-free and dairy-free, etc. I felt so good about my blog. I was contacted to write for other blogs and I felt good.
Rewind to the end of 2015 and almost half of 2016 when I was being gas-lighted when I was told to not blog about what was happening. I kept my blog anonymous. I never used names but the fighting about my truth caused me to DELETE my blog. I was cyber-stalked for a bit and people were watching my online activity. I lost my safety on social media. Even as I type this I’m afraid that my ex will read this and let me know he doesn’t approve of my blog. The sad thing is he shouldn’t be reading my blog or checking in on my blog.
I’ve recently had some feelings. Don’t we all hate when they come up and I again began to doubt myself? I’m a survivor, I’m doing it all over, I’m struggling and growing along the way and I’m my own person and answer to no one. I’m in a relationship with a man who is kind to me, who wants to communicate, and who won’t let me run BUT he has had to take on my self-doubt, questioning his motives, and uneasiness that comes from healing with what I’ve been through.
I don’t need to get into all of it but the result from the stress was a SCAD heart attack in 2016. Today though almost approaching 2020 I’ve grown so much, I’m in school full time and working two part-time gigs to get by, I’m showing my children that you can start over at any age, I’ve shown them what forgiveness looks like, not just for my ex but for myself, I haven’t always walked with grace, and I’m continuing to heal. Lately, for the past week, I’ve also been blogging again. It feels foreign but good.
I chose to write about this today because of the quote/image below. I know how it feels to have something I love feel stolen from me. I loved my old blog and felt good about it and I let someone tell me to delete it. I will never do that again.