Special Interests…It seems that is what my obsession with checking out the LA Coroners website is. Now, before you think that I am odd for an obsession with the LA Coroners website, this is actually a result of PTSD from having a heart attack at 40 years old. In my mind, if I can see how others die, I can avoid the same fate? This “special interest” also has me looking into “How can this person’s life have been different?”
I am an English major as well. I enjoy writing fiction, and my other half suggested I write a novel about a person like me and what kind of story could I come up with from it? This made me feel better about my little obsession with the website. I am 47 and do not want to die. I was fortunate I did not die from my heart attack. I was lucky to return to school and obtain my bachelor’s degree in English. I loved the idea of writing a novel about a fictional character like me but not me.
So, as my therapist says, my “special interest,” which I know others will not understand, can be turned into something good for me. An adventure into using my degree and my autism to write my first novel. I am unsure how long it will take to get this done, but it is nice to know I have an outlet to work on my little obsession.
Here is to uncovering more.
So, I will not apologize if it takes me a couple of days to add a post. I used to do that, BUT now I can see that I am still contributing to my blog. I’ve been having migraines and other issues, and it could be stress, it could be finding out I am autistic, it could be my FMD, and I have been resting a lot.
What I did want to bring up was…SOUNDS! I notice some sounds do get to me. I hate the sounds of cars racing down the street, I can’t stand motorcycles, and the fireworks that are shot off in my neighborhood quite often get to me too. I joke with my partner that when we move, we will move to a street with no motorcycles or people who feel the need to race down a residential street and do donuts at the intersection. I cannot handle it, and it does put me on edge.
I see my doctor tomorrow and will be bringing up what I have been feeling as well as the new sense of overwhelm since I have been diagnosed with autism. So, until tomorrow…
I took a break today from educating myself on being autistic. However, I did have to venture into a Target and only messed up twice, briefly, by talking to people with my nervous energy, BUT I did notice what I was doing, which was a big victory. I thought about what I was doing. It has been hard keeping quiet and not talking to strangers because of my social anxiety, but I’m glad my eyes are open more to my little quirks.
That’s all for now. I do need a day off.