Special Interests…It seems that is what my obsession with checking out the LA Coroners website is. Now, before you think that I am odd for an obsession with the LA Coroners website, this is actually a result of PTSD from having a heart attack at 40 years old. In my mind, if I can see how others die, I can avoid the same fate? This “special interest” also has me looking into “How can this person’s life have been different?”
I am an English major as well. I enjoy writing fiction, and my other half suggested I write a novel about a person like me and what kind of story could I come up with from it? This made me feel better about my little obsession with the website. I am 47 and do not want to die. I was fortunate I did not die from my heart attack. I was lucky to return to school and obtain my bachelor’s degree in English. I loved the idea of writing a novel about a fictional character like me but not me.
So, as my therapist says, my “special interest,” which I know others will not understand, can be turned into something good for me. An adventure into using my degree and my autism to write my first novel. I am unsure how long it will take to get this done, but it is nice to know I have an outlet to work on my little obsession.
So, I will not apologize if it takes me a couple of days to add a post. I used to do that, BUT now I can see that I am still contributing to my blog. I’ve been having migraines and other issues, and it could be stress, it could be finding out I am autistic, it could be my FMD, and I have been resting a lot.
What I did want to bring up was…SOUNDS! I notice some sounds do get to me. I hate the sounds of cars racing down the street, I can’t stand motorcycles, and the fireworks that are shot off in my neighborhood quite often get to me too. I joke with my partner that when we move, we will move to a street with no motorcycles or people who feel the need to race down a residential street and do donuts at the intersection. I cannot handle it, and it does put me on edge.
I see my doctor tomorrow and will be bringing up what I have been feeling as well as the new sense of overwhelm since I have been diagnosed with autism. So, until tomorrow…
Once upon a time, the cute brunette here received her GED after years as an HR Director to show her kids you can accomplish goals at any age, and well, we had a 1950’s inspired party to celebrate. A few short weeks later, I had my “event,” and believe it or not, the smiles I showed here were false. I was a mess, being gaslit and struggling to feel normal. I am so grateful that early 2016 is many moons ago, and I’m thankful for my life today. I earned my bachelor’s in English Education, found out I’m autistic and suffer from PTSD, and I’m living my best life through it all. So odd that coming across a photo can stir up so many memories, good and bad. So grateful for my life today, even on the rough days!
This photo is also a great reminder of why I began to take care of myself more. If I had known in 2016 I was autistic as well, would it of made a difference? Would I have felt so much sensitivity to what was going on then? I’m so grateful that now and since my “event,” I’ve gained tools to walk through life so much easier.