Days 12 & 13 – Blogging & Social Media

I’ve found if I stray from my normal day to day that I may miss out on doing the things that fill me up. As little as it may be to some, blogging for me feels like home. When I blog I hope to help others with PCOS or others who may have gone through SCAD. I miss my old blog. I miss what it was and how safe I felt with it.

That’s the thing. Blogging and other forms of social media should feel safe for everyone who uses them. No one should feel that they are censored to speak about what they want to. No one should feel that they may offend anyone or be yelled at or threatened for blogging or using social media.

I still live in fear that someone, a certain someone will read my blog and accuse me of using it to belittle them when it’s not true. First off if my blog offends you don’t read it. If you don’t like what I do on social media, again don’t interact with me. This is my place and I’m feeling more empowered to do this. I’m not going to stop. Tomorrow will be day 14 of 366 days of blogging down. Yes, 366 days because it’s a leap year in 2020. I’m going to finish this challenge and by the end I hope I find my security within my blog and really know it’s OK to do and to be me.

Day 8 – All Due to a Christmas Card…

I’m on a limited budget and have 10 Christmas cards that I set aside for family and some close friends who to me, are like family. Doing these cards has brought up feelings I have toward some of my family. Part of me wanted to reach out to them and let them know that I’m not shallow and only care about money because that is what they think of me based on a event that happened a couple of years ago.

I wanted to tell them it wasn’t me who didn’t want them at a event, it was their granddaughter. I’m allowing them to keep believing it’s my fault they weren’t invited to her graduation to protect my daughter and because if that’s what they truly think of me then why would I want them close in my life more often than not?

Instead, I’ll continue to keep it light and polite. I love my father and step-mother but I don’t need to have them be active in my life all the time. My family in general isn’t close, something I’ve learned to live with but that doesn’t me I don’t love them and that doesn’t mean I wish things were different. I’m just in acceptance with the way that things are.

Sometimes I’m finding it’s better to just keep quiet.