Where I’m at…It’s Temporary…

I’m 42.  This blog has been with me since 2007 BUT I’ve wiped out all of my posts from public view and they’re now 100% private.  A glimpse into my past that only I need to see.  This blog, I’ve neglected it.  For numerous reasons…we will leave it at that.  My life over the past three years has changed drastically.  For starters 2016 included a heart attack, end of 19 year relationship and loss of job I had for the better part of eighteen years.  Lots of very big life changes.  I want this blog now and going forward to be the beautiful and often scary moments starting over at 42.

Currently I’m in school full time (turns out I was very lucky with that job and now no one will hire me without a degree) to get a bachelors degree so I can then become a CPA.  I also work part time.  Very different than almost 2 years ago when losing my job on December 1, 2016 was the end to a very bad year.

Last week I met with my Financial Aid helper.  He asked what happened to me.  He asked because (this is where I get really real) in 2016 I made about 70k, in 2017 I made about 30k and this year, in 2018 I receive food stamps and get Medi-Cal for insurance.  Speaking of insurance I just was able to refill my meds and I need my heart meds.  I’ve paid for my own insurance since I was 21 and now I can’t.

Here’s the thing I’ve been hiding how hard my life is financially from most people I know.  I believe because I have shame.  I shouldn’t.  I’ve worked most my life.  I put my ex-husband through school even.  I just forgot to take care of me.  So in the process of taking care of me I get to struggle a little.  One day I won’t be struggling and my journey can show others that they too can get through things.

So, if you keep up with me I’m going to be brutally honest about how days are for me.  I’ll also be sharing the good that comes from personal growth.  Life is quite beautiful at the end of the day.