Comfort zones. We all have them. They make us feel safe and for me it’s the women at the meetings I attend in the valley because they’re who I know and what I know and for me change is scary and I don’t want to be judged. Like anyone’s judging me because generally alcoholics are pretty self centered. Hence me worried what others will think of me.
Flash forward to this past Tuesday and attempting to sit in traffic for two plus hours to go to a meeting in the valley when of course there’s meetings everywhere. SO…I took my sponsors advice and decided to find a meeting near me and guess what party people I found one. 11 minutes and less than 3 miles I believe away from me and guess what else???? I was welcomed and deep within I knew I would be and even better I met a woman who told me about two other women’s meetings like five minutes away from me. Imagine that.
So tonight, walking through my own self centered fears I found that I can fit in anywhere when it comes to my program and I’m grateful that I walked through the fear because it was nice being in a room of women tonight hearing honesty and hearing things I so needed to hear.
Until next time…
Ok so I’m not so good at doing this daily and honestly I’m not too concerned. Since my heart attack I’ve been so much less the old Kat when it comes to trying to squeeze everything into a day when there’s always more time to get things done. So basically this challenge, my blog is important but I don’t want to be up at 11 doing it.
I’m working on balance. I’m working on doing one task at a time and finishing it. I really don’t see how in my previous life I worked, took care of two kids, my ex husbands practice, and volunteered while starting up a meet up and keeping up with my girlfriends. No wonder my body shut down. It’s too much for two people. It’s exhausting.
The good news is I’m embracing my flaws and doing what I can, slowly to change them. I’m keeping in contact with my support group so I have a sounding board when I feel I’m maybe doing too much. I’m walking through this new normal with as much grace as I can.
So a little self care check in:
1. Enjoying baths and not rushing out of them. Trying to unwind in them.
2. Doing a exercise class a week that is fun. No need to run if I can do aerial classes, stretching classes or ballet.
3. Not eating gluten and sticking to it. Since my heart attack also having PCOS I’ve gained 20 lbs and slowly I’ll lose the last 18 by making good food choices like I used to do.
4. Having alone time. I’m allowed to have some me time.
Really, if I look at my small behavioral changes I’m being good to myself. I spent 40 years being everything to everyone that I lost me and I’m so grateful life threw me curve ball and I’m learning to be there for me.
Until next time….
Let us just start by saying I haven’t felt this good after a class since I took my 2nd ballet lesson years ago. Tonight I took a 1.5 hour flexibility & stretch class at the Cirque school I went to two weeks ago (took a week off for the holidays) BUT I’m committed to this….
Things I didn’t think I could do and did……
- Almost complete half split
- Back bend touching the wall (OK it took three attempts but I didn’t fall like I thought I would)
- Stretches forward I forgot I could do.
It helped the teacher had a sense of humor. It helped the people in the class did as well and it helped that I was ready to really give it a go.
After my heart attack being told I couldn’t run a marathon I thought it was over for me exercise wise and I was wrong. I’m hoping with sticking to this, growing muscle again, and doing for me that I can do ballet again and feel confident and that I can do aerial again. Not working out for almost two years can make a body weak and I understand my health came first but I’m tired of the extra weight and I do have the body issues WHICH I KNOW a lot of people do so doing for me felt good again.
My teacher even asked if I danced before because the way I raised my arms for the back bends. It feels good to know that even not really doing ballet for a couple of years that I still have some form.
Today’s post is a good one. It’s a “I did for me” and it felt good post. It’s a post where as I sit here in bliss right now I know tomorrow I will be sore BUT it’s so worth it. This is the best I’ve felt about my body in a long time and I’m hoping this journey continues. It will.
Here’s my I’m kinda smiling but feel like jello shot. Enjoy.