Tag Archives: Tweens

& With One School Meeting…

12 Mar

My daughter goes to an amazing Middle School. Last year she went to a terrible one. One where the parents wanting to raise money was more important the the well being of students. I found out this year parents were upset with me last year because their money source was leaving the school. Leaving however because he hit and admitted to hitting my daughter.

This disturbed me, finding this out on so many levels.

Oh, and she was bullied by over two hundred students because the teacher and “friends” she trusted told people it was her that turned him in.

The amazing worthless principal did nothing until she received a death threat. Seriously?

Flash forward. My daughter has found three girls at her new school that she gets along great with. She loves school. She’s in 7th grade doing 9th grade math. She’s been on a speech and debate team. She’s growing.

Last night a friend and I attended a meeting at our children’s school to hear more about the High School. They’ll be in 8th grade next year and the school informed us they have to do a revision to the charter making it 6-12.

I was shocked. I showed them on the website that it makes it seem like there is already High School approved and that they’d be the first graduating class.

I now realize I have to really start researching High Schools. Thankful I still have my magnet points so hopefully we can find a good High School through LAUSD as well. When you have a child who wants to attend Stanford or Oxford and thanks to generous grandparents she can go wherever she wants, you need to make sure she’s at a great school.

There’s a school, with a performing arts magnet right by us. However a lot of the students who bullied her will be going there making me want to avoid it like the plague BUT my husband had a point when he pointed out the school is so big she would not have to worry about those students. Maybe he’s right? I just know my daughter got to a very dark place during and after 6th grade. One we’ve worked hard to get her out of. I think I’d be less worried about the school but this year a girl hung herself from what I heard partially had to do with bullying. I don’t know if I can handle my daughter shutting down again.

My point to all this is that I need a back up plan. I need to know my daughter will get the best High School education and one that she deserves and is challenging to her. The hunt is on. Yes in Los Angeles you need to prepare a year in advance and its OK because I want the best for my daughter and so grateful she is not like me when I was in Junior High and High School. So grateful.

Facts About Tweenagers

18 May

It’s time I just put it out there. I have a Tweenager, a lovely 11 year old Tweenager. I’ve noticed some things and probably things my mother noticed when I was 11 as well. It’s time I just share that:

1. My daughter has and many other Tweens have no sense of dressing right. For example my lovely daughter thought her shorts with a VERY wrinkled top was a great idea to wear to school today.

I asked her if I could get the wrinkles out. She declined my offer. She assured me that the wrinkles would be gone by the time she arrived to school. She was wrong. Still I think I plead my case about the clothes for about 10 minutes and then it hit me….my ego was at stake. I didn’t want people to think I dressed my daughter that way. I then realized my own mother must have had those same thoughts. Boy did I have some fashion issues.

To sum up point 1 I have to let her find her own fashion self and I can point out her train wreck days kindly but if she doesn’t want my assistance I will back off to the best of my ability.

2. The tone of voice of a Tweenager is very loud. They do not know they are talking extremely loud or answering questions like “How are you?” with such attitude that you would think you asked “Why didn’t you clean your room yet?”. It’s as though they’ve found their inner voice (just as toddlers yell when they find their voice) but it’s at some awful loud volume.

To this I remember my attitude and I’d like to say I didn’t have one BUT I think if I question my parents they may say otherwise.

3. Appearance. Enough said. Wash your face and take a real shower, you know where your body is washed and you properly wash your hair. This means using the products so freely given to you by your loving parents and make sure you use deodorant before leaving for school. I’d like to be able to breathe when I pick up said child from school.

Now I’d like to point out this is not my daughter I speak of in the deodorant department. I don’t feel it necessary to call out a child while in my car but it’s so hard to breathe. This has happened at different times with different Tweens but it an be bad.

I do believe and hope this one fixes itself over time. I think and hope their close friends would let them know of their stench, right?

So as I enjoy the Tweenage years some more I’m sure there will be more that comes up but I thought sharing these little bits of joy would show I’m not alone and that there are many more parents living with a Tweenager and that we will all survive with or without lots of thoughts of running away.

Below is moi with bright red hair. My mother was never pleased with this choice of color.

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Adventures in Tweenland, Bullying, Facebook, Etc.

15 Apr

My daughter is no perfect angel but she’s not a bad girl either.  She’s the girl that will be friends with people who are mean to her to hope that they’ll be nice to her.  Lets just start there, oh and she’s 11.

My daughter will “joke” innocently on fb about things and others will call her a  B**ch and other things.  Her weight was talked about last night as well.

Yes, she did have a Facebook account until this morning.  I thought it would be an innocent adventure.  She got the account to play Farmville with her grandmother and one friend but then she was on often.

I kept rationalizing and letting her know if she didn’t do certain things than she would be allowed Facebook time.  I began to notice how evil and mean some girls can become on Facebook and the things they call one and other.  THANK GOD my daughter isn’t one of them BUT she is the receiver of their jokes and meanness.  Yet, they seem to not be so evil in person but I know that is changing too.

She’s had issues this year with being hit by a teacher, the teacher admitting it, and then her “friends” being mean to her because he’s not there (took a leave of absence).  Really these are her friends?

She wants to leave the school next year and we are hoping she gets into this other school but will not know until June.  I’m just done with these girls and yes, these issues can be anywhere and if this was the only thing happening I’d have her do as we have been and stand up for herself the right way.  Add in the teacher hitting her and the “death threat” email due to the teacher we are done. We have showed her to stay the rest of the year to show they didn’t get the better of her but she doesn’t have to be there next year.

Girls can be so much nastier when it comes to being mean to one and other.  I’ve just decided I can’t and will not monitor her Facebook account any longer and it’s got to go.

She’s going to be very mad at me for a while but I’ve decided I will give up Facebook too for a while.  I may go on once a week because I have a mommy group on there from when she was born and family but no Status updates.  No sharing.  Now I do have Foursquare and Twitter and Instagram that feed over but responses, if any will be once a week.  Technology sucks us in at times, technology I didn’t have at 11, and I want to show her I don’t need to be on either.

Having a Tween girl is hard work.  I heard it would be and I’m glad she isn’t one of the girls being nasty but it saddens me that she’s one of the ones being bullied.  I don’t think that as mothers when we hold our babies we are going to have the child that is bullied.  I think that if she were in 5th grade right now that things may be better for her.  She’s one of the youngest 6th graders and she’s still so very young emotionally and I think this is why these “friends” push her around.  I’m so sad for her but need to show her how to be a strong young woman, without Facebook and without those who are just plain right mean to her.  She deserves so much more!

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