and I haven’t been the mom of a toddler in many years. This is the reality of having your kids with a almost 10 year gap.
So, I’m having my moi time which is between the hours of 5am and 7am and though you may find this crazy it works for me.
I’m reading Parents Magazine, something I don’t get to do that often and I come across an article about 10 Discipline Don’ts. Here they are and I’m going to try this out because Number 3 is something we struggle on at home in regards to our lovely 12 Year old Tween Princess.
Here ya go:
1. Yell – Your screaming has zero effect on behavior.
I find this to be so so true! It’s a waste of time really. I can get caught up in this all too often and it doesn’t make me bad BUT growing up this is how I was heard and it’s changing that behavior.
2. Offer Empty Threats – If your child knows you won’t follow through, she/he won’t take you seriously.
Was this article written for me? I even now have a struggle with it because I have a hard time with discipline and the two kiddos. My husband always warned me to not give K empty threats and well, now that I’ve been keeping to what I say it’s been a big shock to this 12 year old who now really does get punished.
3. Undermine Your Partner – Openly disagreeing about discipline will confuse your kids and erode your authority.
Uh yeah. We’ve actually been working on this as a team and boy does it work. Seriously this is so important and I hate to keep quiet but this works better for us all!
4. Fail To Set Rules – It’s not fair to punish a child for playing ball in the house if you didn’t tell him verboten beforehand.
This is a no brainer. I could never punish without setting rules first. I mean I have a hard time sticking to the rules so I could never understand punishing for something I didn’t let either of them know was unacceptable.
5. Bribe – Yeah, It Works The First Time but eventually your child will expect a reward every single time you request her/his cooperation.
Luckily this happened only once or twice and I learned my lesson, boy did I learn my lesson so I’ve not done this at all with Liam.
6. Argue About Consequences – Your discipline methods are not up for discussion or negotiation. Period.
I DISAGREE!! OK, with our lovely tween daughter we know there are things that she loves. It’s too funny to see what punishment she sometimes prefers or when we ask her what she feels her punishment should be. I think in some instances it’s OK to let them decide. For instance…She had the option of the weekend away from her phone or 2 Months no iTunes (a way she spends money earned). She chose the 2 months no iTunes and she hasn’t done the same bad behavior again because next time she know the phone will be gone for a week or more.
In some instances I have to so disagree with number 6.
7. Compare – When you say “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” the implication is that your child isn’t fine the way she/he is.
Thank God my kids are 10 years apart and I’m scarred from my childhood of how I was treated so my kids will NEVER have to worry about hearing that or being played off each other.
8. Spank – Research shows that striking a child makes him more aggressive, not better-behaved.
I don’t lash out on my kids BUT I’ve spanked their bottoms when they’ve done something dangerous. Again, didn’t abuse them but they don’t get hit ever for punishment. I know from my youth it doesn’t do anything but scare a child and not scare them from being bad but scaring them into not wanting to be around the grown up in fear of being hit.
9. Cave Into Whining – Standing firm now will make it less likely you’ll hear that annoying voice the next time she/he wants something.
This is true, So true. Enough said.
10. Set a Bad Example – Need to scold your child for fibbing. Fine. But then don’t let him/her catch you canceling plans due to your own phantom illness.
Guess my kids are super lucky I believe in Karma and can’t do that. I let them know that lies can be bad Karma and watch out because it could have consequences later.
I may parent different than you and so many times I compare myself to others but what is the use? We really all do things differently. These just seemed like some logical, easy things to do when raising a Super Hero and Tween Princess.